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My habits: Mostly responsible for my happiness and success

3/27/2016

2 Comments

 
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Today I wanted to ask you to share with us which habits make you feel successful and happy, that make you feel confident that you are in the right place doing the right things. I will share mine so it will be easier to start for you.

A habit is something you do regularly and almost automatically but consciously. It can be as easy as having one glass of mineral water every morning as soon as you get up, reading a book 30 minutes a day, a one week vacation every year for skiing, a dinner with your wife or husband at every wedding anniversary.

My daily habits are:

  1. Workout: After getting up, 15 minutes of gym: No weights, 7 easy exercises repeated twice. I do this at home and this includes some streching and a final meditation exercise of 3 minutes.
  2. Shower
  3. Prepare my kids breakfast and take them to shool
  4. Have breakfast on my own, way to the office
  5. Planning: Revise my daily agenda and get prepared for the day
  6. Have a coffee with my team or other colleagues
  7. Have lunch with my colleagues or customers
  8. Drink some water and have a third coffee (Maybe too much coffee ;)
  9. Go home and have dinner with my family, talk to my wife and my kids, relax (Some running), watch some TV and go to bed

There are also some daily "Habits in progress". Listen actively and speak less or 20 minutes reading for instance.

Caution: A habit that is not linked to survival needs can always be lost so don't think that if you have done something for three months every day that this habit will be there forever and will just pop up every day. You still have to decide every day to do it.

My weekly habits are:

  1. Sunday evening at 7PM Familiy meeting where everybody has his speaking time he may use or give to another Family member. This meeting is to share important things for each of us with the other family members so everybody is aware. This meeting is used to discuss important family events such as vacactions, birthdays and any other important event. (This habit was just added a week ago and I am working on convincing everybody that it provides value :)
  2. Monday morning: Weekly planning - personal and professional events - I put the "Big rocks" in my agenda and check for the ones I will have to prepare this week: Birthdays, anniversaries, customer meetings, meetings with my boss, events with friends and family, etc.
  3. 1-3 times running between 30 and 60 min including an official 10k or 21k competition from time to time on a weekend
  4. Saturdays: The organization&family day of the week - Groceries, things at home that have to be done, drive my kids to their events, assist to the soccer match of my son, play with my youngest kid. Saturday evening is usually booked for my wife and I. Dinner with friends, cinema and theatre are options we often choose.
  5. Sunday is holy - Sharpen the saw: Sports (Tennis), activities with my family (I have a wife and three kids) and Friends - No exception! 

My only monthly habit is

"Stammtisch" (No clue how to translate this) every first Thursday with my German Expats here in Madrid - having a few beers and a nice conversation

My annual habits are
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  1. A long 2-4 weeks summer holiday with my wife and my kids. This is usually August here in Spain
  2. A one week easter holiday with my wife and my kids.
  3. Celebration of all close family and friends birthdays and our wedding anniversary
  4. A 3 day - Family-off ski trip with my friends. This one was skipped for the last five years but must go back into my habits ;) -  to disconnect from work&family
  5. Take a weekend-day in December and ask myself if I still do the right things and if I am in the right company doing the job that challenges and satisfies me and share these thoughts with my wife. Then think about a plan and take action if necessary.

This is much more what I initially thought! And honestly: The last one of the annual habits just popped up as an idea ;)

Feel free to share your habits, the ones that make the difference for you.

I am looking forward to seeing them!
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Values, principles, habits and skills of great people

3/25/2016

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To write this post I was originally inspired by "6 skills of Extraordinary Entrepreneurs" written by Eilene Zimmermann on Inc.com.
Look, I even designed an image to understand better what those skills are about.Thank you Eilene for sharing!
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Then I thought about what I really wanted to share with all of you and the first thing that came to my mind was what I would not like to do. I would not like to put a number in my headline such as "The 10 rules" or "7 ways" or whatsoever.

I did that before in other posts but I somehow learned that you can't really say that. Who am I to determine the number of rules, things, habits someone else has to follow to be successful for instance? Linkedin is full of posts fishing for reads, likes and followers trying to catch the readers attention using sound headlines with labels and numbers - usually small numbers between 1 and 10. Why? To make things appeal easy and fast. Fast to read, easy to understand and easy to apply or learn. The so called "quick read - quick win".

There is no truth and there is no objective evidence in the advices we give others writing them down on a sheet of paper, in a letter, as part of a presentation, in a post or in a book. We are simply and hopefully humbly expressing our very subjective, personal opinion - even if sometimes really appreciated by many - and we propose others to read what worked for us but often we just copy someone else and think that it could work for ourselves and for them.

I don't know the truth or the absolute truth so I will also try to avoid starting sentences with "It is evident", "The truth is", "Always" or "Never". Additionally I didn't want to use labels such as "Leadership", "Leader", "CEO" or "Entrepreneur".
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I wanted to talk about what makes PEOPLE around us "Great people". Who are those great people? Seeing others as "Great people" is also subjective. My seven year old daughter for instance is one of those great people, because she is the person that makes me feel so good when she raises this simple question:

"Do you know daddy how much I do love you?"

Is she a leader? Peter Drucker would say "Yes of course she is, as she has followers!" - My wife, her brothers, grandma and granddad her friends and myself of course :)

Who do you think is a greater person for us, her followers: Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Barack Obama or her?

Why do I write this post?
What motivates me?
Am I wasting my time?
I could to something else instead.
You know why I am writing here and today? Because It helps me to learn, because I feel that I am sharing something that may help others.

When you start writing you are processing your thoughts, you put them in sequence and often you find out that what you are finally writing down is then quite different from what you originally thought you would write. It is a learning process and a creative process at the same time. This is because if you write, most of the times you don't write only for yourself, you write to share your thoughts with others and most of the times you want your readers to understand your thoughts, your feelings, your values and principles.

Part of the writing process is also stopping to think. Reading what you were writing, reformulating, deleting, shaping, fine-tuning, adding some words here and there and take some time to set you mind to think it over again. Discuss with someone what you are writing and get some feedback.
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I think that I am an average writer but it really helps me to understand myself to learn more about who I am, how I think, what I think and what is important to me. It helps me to understand others, how they think, how they feel, why they do some things and don't do others. It makes my brains work. I discuss with myself and clarify, turn arguments up and down and move things from left to right and back again. It helps me to question myself, look into the mirror and ask myself "Who are you?", "What is really important to you", "Who are the real important people in your life?", "Are you really happy? Why? Why not?", "What do you want to achieve?", "What are your personal and professional goals?"

Now lets talk about the values, principles, habits and skills that make those great people around us so great.

You know what? I think it is a much better idea that you go out and find them, talk to them instead of reading this post.

The most powerful weapon to find out something important about people is to raise a good question and then carefully listen to understand.

But don't try to copy them - be and stay yourself, just observe, listen and learn.
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Here a great post titled "A manifesto against America's 'happiness' and 'resume' cultures" written by Dave Brooks, to make you think about yourself a little bit more.
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Dave Brooks, The New York Times columnist argues in this post that we focus on accumulating power, material wealth, and professional achievements instead of cultivating the kinds of qualities that will be discussed at our funerals. As Brooks phrases it, we emphasize "resume virtues" over "eulogy virtues." Brooks's objective is to establish a "counterculture" to our happiness culture and our resume culture. It's to fashion a path to "inner depth."

​By the way, I am sure you can find great people very close to you. A hint: The greatest and most important person of your life is just in front of you - just take a look at the mirror ;)

Have a great day!
Andreas

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    Andreas Jaffke

    Born in Germany 1967. Living since 1999 in Spain. Married and father of three. Evangelist of Stephen R. Covey's  "The 7 habits of highly effective people". Humble learner who helps others to get the best out of themselves.

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